11 - 13 years

Teach them about of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. It you abuse any of them, you lose your credibility. They will be most influenced by your behavior. Alcohol is accepted in moderation in adults. They want to be adults. Make them understand the damage that can be done by excess. Avoid lectures. A good technique is to tell a story about someone. A true-life account will be a more memorable lesson than all the platitudes you can pronounce. Sadly, everyone knows of an alcoholic, lung cancer victim or drug addiction tragedy. Make them understand peer pressure and how to diffuse it. Help them develop leadership skills. 

Talk about family, local and world history. Analyze the mistakes of the past. Encourage their natural idealism. Ask them to visualize how the world should be and how people should be treated. Encourage exploration in academics, sports and activities. Make opportunities for discussion on any subject open and non-judgmental, even if you have to bite your tongue. Ask open questions. Listen to them. Talk less. 

Allow them free time, privacy and solitude. Teach them to appreciate silence and inactivity. The attraction of video games, the computer and TV are strong. They needn’t be denied. But, when things get overboard, try a road trip to a quiet place. Bring apples and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature. A half hour in your enjoyment of silence might be therapeutic to your child as well. They might even initiate conversation on their own. These can be golden moments. 

This is a tough time in a child’s life. Huge changes are taking place in mind and body . . .